Womanizer's Woes

“Why does your dial list only consists of girl’s names and more so why are there prefixes of W or G with them?”

“W is for woman and G is for girls. This is so that I don’t forget which one is which.”

“Good lord! How do you distinguish between the two?”

“Well! Firstly there is always this age criterion. Anyone under 25 is a girl and over 25 is a woman.”

“Pray enlighten me what is secondly?”

“It’s the difference of attitude. You see, a woman looks into my eyes and sees what I want and then she encourages me. And I get more encouraged. A girl looks into my eyes and she sees what I want but she is confused about it and she believes she can make me want her rather than what I want. She thinks she can change me.”

“Well, these are pretty much universal definitions but the age thing. That’s discrimination.”

“All’s fair in love and war and subsequent incriminations.”

“True. In our dark lives, women are like sun and we are like sunflowers, bending and orienting the way the sun shines.”

“Must we get as much as sun as we desire. But then soon enough there are two suns in the sky. And the poor sunflowers are confused. They want to bathe in the light of both suns and get the photosynthesis going but ultimately have to turn to one. And soon enough again, there’s another sun or then the night descends and a new moon ascends.”

“And then the sun rises at dawn again, and we wake up with scars or love bites or lipstick marks or nail scratches or swollen toes that we stubbed in furniture and wonder what the fuck happened last night and why is the TV tuned to muted looney tunes channel .”

“This is good shit. How about putting in something about making the breakfast on ‘the morning after’?”

“Yea! Better write it down.”

“Be sure my brother that I will use it again.”

“You won’t remember my face in the morning.”

“I won’t. But I will remember what you said. Trust me. I have uncanny power of memorizing dialogues. Although I am sure that words will lose half their weight when I am sober again. Trick is to avoid truth as much as one can while sober and lie as little while drunk.”

“Sounds quite black.”

“That reminds me that I love black but not on women. Unless it is black sexy lingerie or a slutty black dress.”

“Have you heard of the song, lying is the most fun a girl can have without taking her shirt off.”

“Yea, Panic at the disco.”

“I think the best reply to that would be that flirting is the most fun a boy can have without taking his wallet out.”

(Drunken conversation between two complete strangers while waiting for food at a bar at an airport at 4 am)

Where will this end.